The Terrible Two's

Discipline strategies to help you through the years

Whether you are a new or seasoned mom, discipline is an issue that we all face not just once but throughout every stage of our kids lives. As our daughter is gaining independence and discovering more about herself and the world around her, my husband and I are seeing the increasing need to become very consistent in our discipline strategies.  We had a discussion about it last night and I committed to him that I would make some notes to serve as a reminder to us.  I thought that some of our strategies might be helpful to The Cool Mom Blog readers.

1. Even mommies and daddies can use a time-out once in a while.  Whether it's in the form of sitting in the corner, sending a child to their room or grounding, every child (even parents once in a while) could use some time to think about their actions when boundaries have been crossed.  For us, our daughter is not old enough to reflect on her actions so the act of giving her a time-out really just serves to remove her current situation for a short time (1 or 2 minutes) and then explain what she did wrong.
2. Set boundaries and allow your child to have independence within them.   Not many people like to constantly be told 'No'.  Children are on a continuous journey of discovery and encouraging this is part of our job as parents.  We also need to keep them safe so setting some clear boundaries is important.  Kids should know what the boundaries are and be allowed to explore within them.  For a teenager, this may come in the form of setting a curfew or the amount of time spent on the phone or on the computer.  In our situation, Ella is not old enough to understand those boundaries so they have to be physical.  Instead of always saying no when she heads towards the stairs or somewhere that is off limits, we can put up gates or move furniture so she can get to it. 
3. Offer creative alternatives. Along the same vein of creating a positive environment where 'no' is not always used, we can help our kids learn, grow and discover by offering creative alternatives when their original intention is not a great one.  This could be suggesting another activity, asking for them to help you with a chore or doing an activity with you.
4. Crying will only get you a hug.  Nip melt downs and temper tantrums in the bud by ignoring them.  I like the line I heard one parent say to their child 'Let me know when you are ready to talk'.  Kids have to know that they can't gain control over parents or the situation with negative behaviour.