How can I get my baby to sleep through the night?
In the early months, sleeping through the night for babies is considered to be only six straight hours. By the end of the first year, most babies will sleep 10 to 12 hours at night.
 |
| Baby Sleeping |
You can start by regulating your baby's sleep patterns and teaching him good sleep habits early on. Unfortunately, in the early, newborn days, you really can't do anything to control a baby's sleep patterns -- he'll sleep when and where he wants: If he's tired, nothing will keep him up, and if he's not, well, he'll be awake. But from day one you can:
• Give your child a "transitional object". Chances are this security object -- such as a blanket or stuffed animal -- will become a much-cherished possession that helps soothe your child to sleep. One great way to make a blanket or teddy bear a favourite is to keep it near you for a while so it becomes "mom-scented". Babies have a strong sense of smell, and when they startle awake, which they do often during the night, the smell of their mothers nearby can be very reassuring and help them go back to sleep.
• Separate sleep from being merely sleepy. During infancy, your baby may move quickly between states of sleepiness and alertness. Take your baby's cues and use them: If he falls asleep while eating or being carried, lay him down in a designated sleeping place, such as a bassinet, crib or stroller. If he's awake, encourage that wakefulness, and socialize with him. By distinguishing between asleep and wakeful periods, you'll help him associate sleep with a proper sleeping place.
• Separate day from night. Though babies will eventually sleep longest at night, many newborns mix up day and night. To help your baby learn to use nighttime hours for longer sleep periods, distinguish between naps and bedtime. At night, start to create bedtime routines --playing quietly, reading, taking a warm bath, changing into pyjamas, singing, rocking, swaddling, and darkening the room.
• Treat night-time meals differently than daytime ones. Since your newborn needs to eat around the clock he'll awake several times during your sleeping hours. So to keep those night-time feedings functional and less disruptive, Dr Penelope Leach, in Your Baby and Child, suggests that parents make night-time feedings quiet and daytime ones social. In other words, when your baby starts to fuss and whimper in the middle of the night, go to him immediately and feed him before he really has a chance to wake up. If your baby sleeps with you, this will be even easier. Don't talk or turn on the light, but simply keep the quiet, sleepy atmosphere you've set so that baby understands it isn't playtime. During the day, do the opposite: Treat mealtimes as opportunities to coo, sing, talk to, and interact with your baby.
• Encourage an older baby to fall asleep on his own. At first, your baby will undoubtedly fall asleep in your arms while feeding or being rocked. He may sleep if you carry him in a sling, where the natural rhythms of your walk and your warmth lull him. But eventually, you want your baby to get used to the idea of going to sleep on his own.
Introduce the notion gradually: When your baby is drowsy, but not yet asleep, lay him down. By putting him down when he's awake -- but still feeling loved and cosy -- he may associate falling asleep himself with such feelings. This may be easier said than done, however. But do continue to try to put your baby down sleepy, but awake, and soon he'll get the hang of it.
What does it mean to let a baby "cry it out"?
For decades, parents have been told that the best way to train a baby who no longer needs nighttime feedings to sleep through the night is to let him "cry it out". In other words, put the baby in his bed, shut the door, and let him bawl. Though there are variations on this technique, the general idea is the same: After about a week of unheeded crying, a baby will learn to fall asleep on his own. Without a rewarding response to his cries, the theory goes, a baby learns that it's not worth the trouble to cry so hard.
Dr Richard Ferber, author of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, advocates the most widely-used approach to this seemingly heartless approach, which shouldn't be used with children under six months of age. Dr. Ferber recommends that parents not leave their baby cold turkey, but that they periodically comfort him without picking him up. Make sure he's not twisted up in his blankets or without his favourite stuffed animal, then pat him gently, tell him you love him but it's bedtime, and leave the room. Don't turn on the lights, linger, or hold him. The first night you might wait five minutes before your cribside appearance, the second night 10 minutes, and so on. Eventually, your baby will learn to fall asleep on his own. But Dr Ferber does caution that no one approach works for every baby.
Should we let our baby cry it out?
Among new parents, this question is hotly debated. Is there an easier, less heartless way than so called "Ferberizing?" Perhaps.
Here's what some childcare experts say about crying it out.
• Dr Penelope Leach, author of Your Baby and Child, and many other books on babies
Approach: "Compassionate Crying It Out" If you leave your baby crying, he'll feel abandoned and fear that your departure at bedtime -- and any other time -- isn't safe.
When: Starting at around nine months -- babies can't really learn that night-time is for sleeping until then.
What to do: Since the goal, Leach points out, is to help your baby feel that bedtime is safe and happy and that he can go to sleep on his own, don't abandon him outright. Instead, keep to your enjoyable bedtime rituals and when your baby cries go into his room, reassure him, and leave as often as you need to. Leach writes, "You may have to repeat this over and over again, but it is the only sure way eventually to convince him both that you will come and that you will not get him up."
• Dr T. Berry Brazelton, author of Touchpoints and many other books on babies and children
Approach: "Nurturing but Crying It Out" Before you begin any kind of program like this, make sure that both partners are in complete agreement.
When: Depends on the child -- you could do this at six months or two years. Brazelton urges parents to examine their own motivations and their child before they begin this programme.
What to do: Be sure you've eliminated late afternoon naps (after 3pm), keep a relaxing, loving bedtime ritual, and don't breastfeed or rock your baby to sleep. Instead, put him down awake and stay with him, reassuring him that you're there but that he can fall asleep by himself. If you like, you can wake him up before your bedtime for a feeding, so that you won't worry that he's hungry later. Finally, be prepared for wakings every four hours or so. When he does cry out, go to him quietly and try not to stimulate him. Don't pick him up or rock him, but do soothe him and quietly reassure him. After you feel comfortable with this, don't go to him, but call out to him and reassure him, suggesting he snuggle with his teddy bear or other security object. Again, when you're comfortable, wait 15 minutes before responding to his cries and then repeat the above step.
• Dr Benjamin Spock, author of Baby and Child Care
Approach: "Cry It Out"
When: Three months
What to do: Say goodnight and don't look back. Usually, after three nights of unchecked crying, your baby will start going to sleep by himself. Spock says that most babies will cry for up to 30 minutes on the first night, realise they're not getting anywhere, and fall asleep. He writes: "I'm convinced that they are only crying from anger at this age...[Checking on her] only enrages her and keeps her crying much longer."
• Dr. William Sears, author of The Baby Book and others
Approach: Sleeping with baby or other responsive tactics. He writes, "The result of [crying it out] is usually the same: A strung-out mother and an angry baby, who will eventually exhaust himself to sleep -- but at what price. We wish to put the cry-it-out approach to sleep -- forever."
When: From infancy until the child is ready for his own bed
What to do: Consider sharing your bed with your baby for the first few months or more of his life. According to Sears, mother and baby sleep better and longer side-by-side, baby gets warmth, nurturing and a readily available breast if he's breastfeeding, and babies thrive when they sleep near their parents. Plus, if the mother has returned to work, sleeping with her baby may help restore and build connections that can be frayed during the workday.
If you don't want to sleep with your baby, you can still use Sears' other suggestions for helping a baby learn to sleep through the night:
• Consider why your baby is waking and crying at night. Try to listen to his cries and reassure him.
• Share the comforting duties. Often a breastfeeding baby wants Mum at night, even if he no longer needs night-time feedings. But if Dad can be part of the night-time plan, the baby may learn to be comforted by him, and then to stop needing anyone when there's no food coming!
• Offer your baby a comforting stuffed animal or blanket. Help him make sleep associations with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment