My Son's New Addiction

Usman 

My son won't stop walking!!

I remember the time when he wasn't walking and just crawling all the time. I used to get so annoyed as he would go into corners, get everywhere and FAST! Not to forget picking up stuff from the floor!!

I tried everything to get him to walk on his own but he just wouldn't. He was scared I guess and wanted me or his dad to hold his hand while he was attempting to walk and be completely out of balance.

However one day Jess and I were just discussing as to when he would actually walk and THERE IT WAS! He was leaning on the couch watching us and just started walking!! It was amazing!

It was quite exciting to watch him just walk around and master it. Now he's a pro. Climbing on and off things is what he is doing now ALL THE TIME!!

It's so funny how I ask him to stay somewhere assuming he would actually LISTEN and surprisingly see him right BEHIND me when I turn around!

Now it is really hard to get him to listen. He has started to throw tantrums when we go out and is insisting on walking himself.

Just today we went to Zellers and he kept screaming and crying to walk outside and inside and WHERE he wanted to walk!!

Doesn't want to listen and does not want to be carried, IMAGINE!!

It's weird to see him independent at 16 months, definitely not so FUN anymore..

Would love to know about your experiences!! Share in the comments  :)

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My Personal Views :)

Knowing that you are pregnant can be an overwhelming feeling. It is very special when it is with someone you love. Knowing that a part of him is growing inside you is a sense of completion.

Motherhood is the most gifted experience. Being a mother I can say that it is a full time job which you have to be committed to 24/7
It's a very tough phase of life specially when it is the first one.
You feel completely out of place. Asking everyone questions, worried  all the time, researching on the net and trying to find out as much as you can.

Thanks to technology we are able to achieve a lot more than we could have before. Just imagine those times when women had to deliver at home and that too by a midwife. No doctors, hospitals or MEDICINES!! It really scares me but then at the same time it amazes me that women were much healthier then and had to face less complications than today.

Communicating with your child

Guidelines For Parent/Child Communication

Good communication is an important parenting skill. This page provides useful information and techniques for parents on how to communicate effectively with their children.

Parenting can be more enjoyable when positive parent - child relationship is established.

Whether you are parenting a toddler or a teenager, good communication is the key to building self-esteem as well a mutual respect.

Basic Principles of Good Parent/Child Communication

• Let the child know that you are interested and involved and that you will help when needed.
• Turn off the television or put the newspaper down when your child wants to converse.
• Avoid taking a telephone call when the child has something important to tell you.
• Unless other people are specifically meant to be included, hold conversations in privacy. The best communication between you and the child will occur when others are not around.
• Embarrassing the child or putting him on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility, not good communication.
• Don't tower over your child. Physically get down to the child's level then talk.
• If you are very angry about a behavior or an incident, don't attempt communication until you regain your cool, because you cannot be objective until then. It is better to stop, settle down, and talk to the child later.
• If you are very tired, you will have to make an extra effort to be an active listener. Genuine active listening is hard work and is very difficult when your mind and body are already tired.
• Listen carefully and politely. Don't interrupt the child when he is trying to tell his story. Be as courteous to your child as you would be to your best friend.
• Don't be a wipe-out artist, unraveling minor threads of a story and never allowing the child's own theme to develop. This is the parent who reacts to the incidentals of a message while the main idea is list: i.e., the child starts to tell about what happened and the parent says, "I don't care what they are doing, but you had better not be involved in anything like that."
• Don't ask why, but do ask what happened.
• If you have knowledge of the situation, confront the child with the information that you know or have been told.
• Keep adult talking ("You'll talk when I'm finished." "I know what's best for you." "Just do what I say and that will solve the problem"), preaching and moralizing to a minimum because they are not helpful in getting communication open and keeping it open.
• Don't use put-down words or statements: dumb, stupid, lazy: "Stupid, that makes no sense at all" or "What do you know, you're just a child."
• Assist the child in planning some specific steps to the solution.
• Show that you accept the child himself, regardless of what he has or has not done.
• Reinforce the child for keeping communication open. Do this by accepting him and praising his efforts to communicate.nication

Words of Encouragement and Praise

Children thrive on positive attention. Children need to feel loved and appreciated. Most parents find that it is easier to provide negative feedback rather than positive feedback. By selecting and using some of the phrases below on a daily basis with your child, you will find that he will start paying more attention to you and will try harder to please.

Yes    Good    Fine    Very good    Very fine    Excellent Marvelous

At-a-boy Right    That's right    Correct    Wonderful

I like the way you do that    I'm pleased with (proud of ) you

That's good    Wow    Oh boy   Very nice    Good work    Great going

Good for you    That's the way    Much better    O.K.

You're doing better    That's perfect Good idea    What a cleaver idea

That's it    Good job    Great job controlling yourself

I like the way you ______    I noticed that you ____    Keep it up

I had fun ______ with you    You are improving at ______ more and more

You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______    Way to go

I appreciate the way you ______    You are great at that    You're the best

Good remembering    That's beautiful    I like your______

I like the way you ______ with out having to be asked (reminded)

I'm sure glad you are my son/daughter    Now you've got it

I love you

You can SHOW them how you feel as well as tell them:

Smile    Nod    Part on shoulder, head, knee Wink

Signal or gesture to signify approval    High five    Touch cheek

Tickle    Laugh (with, not at)    Pat on the back    Hug

One Final Touch

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal.
If a child lives with honesty he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.

Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Women commonly have mood changes during pregnancy, especially after delivery. These mood changes may be caused by changes in hormone levels. Many non-hormonal factors may also affect mood during this period:

• Changes in your body from pregnancy and delivery
• Changes in work and social relationships
• Having less time and freedom for yourself
• Lack of sleep
• Worries about your ability as a mother

Feelings of anxiety, irritation, tearfulness, and restlessness are common in the week or two after pregnancy. These feelings are often called the postpartum or "baby blues." These symptoms almost always go away soon, without the need for treatment.

Postpartum depression may occur when the baby blues do not fade away or when signs of depression start 1 or more months after childbirth.

You may have a higher chance of postpartum depression if you:

• Are under age 20
• Currently abuse alcohol, take illegal substances, or smoke (these also cause serious medical health risks for the baby)
• Did not plan the pregnancy, or had mixed feelings about the pregnancy
• Had depression, bipolar disorder (for example, manic depression), or an anxiety disorder before your pregnancy, or with a previous pregnancy
• Had a stressful event during the pregnancy or delivery, including personal illness, death or illness of a loved one, a difficult or emergency delivery, premature delivery, or illness or birth defect in the baby
• Have a close family member who has had depression or anxiety
• Have a poor relationship with your significant other or are single
• Have financial problems (low income, inadequate housing)
• Have little support from family, friends, or your significant other

Symptoms

The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:

• Agitation or irritability
• Changes in appetite
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Feeling withdrawn or unconnected
• Lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities
• Loss of concentration
• Loss of energy
• Problems doing tasks at home or work
• Negative feelings toward the baby
• Significant anxiety
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Trouble sleeping

A mother with postpartum depression may also:

• Be unable to care for herself or her baby
• Be afraid to be alone with her baby
• Have negative feelings toward the baby or even think about harming the baby (Although these feelings are scary, they are almost never acted on. Still you should tell your doctor about them right away.)
• Worry intensely about the baby, or have little interest in the baby

Signs and tests

There is no single test to diagnose postpartum depression. Your doctor may have you complete a questionnaire (such as the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale) at your office visit to look for signs of depression or risks for depression.

Sometimes depression following pregnancy can be related to other medical conditions. Hypothyroidism, for example, causes symptoms such as fatigue, irritability, and depression. Women with postpartum depression should have blood tests to screen for medical causes of depression.

Treatment

A new mother who has any symptoms of postpartum depression should take steps right away to get help.

Here are some other helpful tips:

• Ask your partner, family, and friends for help with the baby's needs and in the home.
• Don't hide your feelings. Talk about them with your partner, family, and friends.
• Don't make any major life changes during pregnancy or right after giving birth.
• Don't try to do too much, or to be perfect.
• Make time to go out, visit friends, or spend time alone with your partner.
• Rest as much as you can. Sleep when the baby is sleeping.
• Talk with other mothers or join a support group.

The treatment for depression after birth often includes medication, therapy, or both.

• If you are diagnosed with depression, you may need to be followed closely for at least 6 months.
• There are several types of antidepressant medications that may be given to breastfeeding mothers, including paroxetine, sertraline, and nortriptyline.
• Ask your doctor or nurse for a referral to a mental health therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT) are types of talk therapy that have been found effective for postpartum depression.

If you are thinking of harming yourself or your infant, seek immediate medical help.

Support Groups

If you are diagnosed with postpartum depression, support groups may be helpful, but they should not replace medication or individual psychotherapy (talk therapy).

Expectations (prognosis)

Medication and professional psychotherapy can often successfully reduce or eliminate symptoms.

Complications

If left untreated, postpartum depression can last for months or years, and you may be at risk of harming yourself or your baby.

The potential long-term complications are the same as in major depression.

Calling your health care provider

Call your doctor if you experience any of the following:

• Your baby blues don't go away after 2 weeks
• Symptoms of depression get more intense
• Symptoms of depression begin at any time after delivery, even many months later
• It is hard for you to perform tasks at work or at home
• You cannot care for yourself or your baby
• You have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
• You develop thoughts that are not based in reality, or you start hearing or seeing things that other people cannot

Do not be afraid to seek help immediately if you feel overwhelmed and are afraid that you may hurt your baby.

Prevention

Having good social support from family, friends, and coworkers may help reduce the seriousness of postpartum depression, but may not prevent it.

Screening questionnaires may help detect depression or risks for depression early.

Women who had postpartum depression after past pregnancies may be less likely to develop postpartum depression again if they start taking antidepressant medications after they deliver.